i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Randomize
