Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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