my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
