he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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