there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
