i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
