Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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