You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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