I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
