When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
