I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
