just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
