but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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