Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
