I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
