I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
