I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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