Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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