I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize