mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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