They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
