definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Bring me that man meat
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
