i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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