I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
