I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
