he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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