I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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