of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
