she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
