forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
