That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
