Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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