Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
