he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
