Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize