her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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