Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i think im in europe. pls send help
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
