We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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