btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize