so explain again why im purple
no
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
