I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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