I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
