So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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