I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
