yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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