my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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