either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
