His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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