Kiss
Puke
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
