Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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