So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
