All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
