He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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