I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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