She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize